My Tete a Tete with Writing

It happened yesterday morning.

As  I sat down to  check my email and hopefully, squeeze in half an hours’ work on my current project, one which I was finding rather difficult to keep motivated and enthusiastic about , I noticed Writing sitting across the kitchen table from me. “Well, come on then,” I said pseudo heartily,  jollying us both along, “let’s get into it!”. When no reply was forthcoming however I looked again.

Writing’s arms were folded across its chest, legs crossed and wound around each other, eyes narrow and accusing.

“What?” I asked, confused but nervous given this unfriendly body language.

“ I'm leaving” Writing hissed through tight lips.

Thunderstruck and utterly horrified I gasped “What? But Why? You can’t!”

“Why shouldn't I?” came the response ”You barely ever even look at me any more let alone talk to me or spend any time with me. You've changed, man. You used to be cool. It used to be about the words."

"I'm still cool! And it IS still about the words!"
Writing's lip lifted contemptuously. " Oh Really? You left me first. It’s not like I haven’t waited for you- for years, you've been telling me “When the kids get older” “when things settle down”. You promised me we'd be together and I understood and I waited. But I'm not waiting any more."

“That’s not true!” I retorted, racking my brains for a good example to crush this outrageous accusation. I thought, and thought and thought again, realising with increasing mortification that Writing was right. When had our joyous and soulful relationship turned into a “must do”? I cringed at the number of times I had put something else, something ‘more important’ ahead of spending quality time with Writing. 

Time where I would write just for the sheer pleasure of playing with words, of weaving and spinning a tale out of nothing but air with the constant support of my dear love, my passion, Writing, whose eyes would crinkle with laughter and pleasure at the completion of a chapter, whose hands would applaud a particularly resonant paragraph, who would always tell me the truth about my failures even if I chose not to listen, and then would rub my shoulders while I re wrote and edited.

The thought of living without it was unbearable.

"I'm sorry" I whispered. "I don't know how it happened but you're right. I'm sorry. I promise to spend time with you as often as I can- real, proper writing time. And I'll say hello and talk to you every day. I promise. Only please don't leave."

Writing looked up doubtfully. "Well, I don't know...."

"PLeeeease!"

Writing uncrossed its arms and legs and leaned forward. We clasped hands across the table.

"Okay. You get one more chance." It said sternly, but then it smiled and I knew I was forgiven, at least for now.

Hello world, it's me.

I’ve got the juice back. The juice and the need and the drive to write something apart from books. I don’t know where this drive has been for the past ten years since I stopped writing regular freelance articles but I’d say it had something to do with having two teenage daughters, a husband, various animals and a day job. Plus writing the aforementioned books.

Not that that is a lot by some peoples standards, the ones who can run a veritable tribe domestically, be the CEO of a company, an author, a speaker, and network like buggery ensuring that all their various interests complement and support each other.

For me however, I imagine it was enough. I also think that because I did have the two teenage daughters most of the verbiage I am now going to be inflicting on an unsuspecting public was used up in day to day discussion. Now it’s got nowhere to go except to the dogs who love to hear me speak but are really no challenge because they love every word I utter especially if it sounds like “dinner” and my husband who, to be fair, tried to listen at first but soon gave up, vital topics like the psychological reasons leading to the break up of Katy Perry and Russell Brand being very much beyond his ken. So in order to save my marriage and my sanity, here I am again.

Hello world!